Skip to main content

I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in

And I don't know why.  I've wondered if it's my own insecurity.  But it's more than that.


I believe it stems completely from not being a mother.  I'm always sucking hind tit so to speak when it comes to a place in the lives of the children I have helped raise. 


That point has been brought home to me very clearly in the past 24 hours.  Right now I can best describe my feelings as feeling like I have mosquito netting between myself and my step kids.  I am not in control of that netting, and neither are they, but it exists and all it does is filter out what each of us has to say.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Today's list of what is on my mind

1: Will our society survive ourselves 2: Do we even deserve to survive; why are we, as a country, society, still not understanding why hate has no place in our hearts. 3: Protesting doesn't include riots 4. Protesting doesn't include looting/rioting 5: Free persons protest; criminals loot/riot 6: Protesters are not criminals because they protest; two different groups of people; not to be judged as one 7: My mom scolded me harshly for ever using the word "hate" said about a person or group. 8: Many of us are tired; exhausted; tired of anxiety about illness and exhausted by grief. 9: I want to go to the forest 10: I want to go to the ocean 11: I want people to value other people; you don't have to like everyone or agree with them, just accept they are equal. 12: Black Lives Matter.
Post a Comment
Read more

Protein Brownies Review

First of all I am not trying or wanting to be a blogger that is touting their idealistic lifestyle nor do I want to be an influencer.  I am just a person who likes to blog and share a small glimpse of my imperfect life.   I am saying all of that because I am posting unedited pictures of my cooking.  Most of my pictures are un-edited.  I crop to keep certain details out of pictures.  Like I cropped a couple of these photos so you cannot see the chipped countertop on the edge of my stove.  Come to think of it I shouldn't have cropped that.  I cannot be the only person who has a chipped countertop.  Oh well Onward! I did some online shopping at Target.  I miss Target.  I mean I really really miss Target, it is one of my very favorite stores.  When we are not in a pandemic I love that I can order online and walk in a pick it up.  It keeps me from experiencing the bloated cart that comes from cruising Target aisles. I wanted s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Perfect WFH Shoes!

When I turned 40, 7 years ago, I promised myself I would stop wearing shoes that hurt my feet.  That was difficult at first because the kids were still kids and the budget was tighter, so buying a decent pair of Dansko or Cob Hill sandals or heels for work meant I had to choose very wisely.  Now that the budget is a bit roomier and I have had seven years; I have amassed a nice selection of comfortable shoes for work and for hime.   These past three weeks of working from home presented different challenges.  My slippers do not work because it is springtime in Oregon, so while it is chilly in the morning and evening, during the day in the house, the lined slippers where just too much. I tried my Furoshiki wrap shoes, which I usually wear post gym or workout.  Those worked well for temperature but the Vibram soles were not conducive to my habit of working with a leg tucked under me.  It just felt weird.   Since I am an avowed shoe whore and DS...
Post a Comment
Read more